Carrie Blogshaw

I would like to tell you about the outfit that I finally picked for the ill-fated online date (please see post below). After many hours of consideration, I decided on skinny jeans tucked into high heel boots with a black button down shirt accented with a black sash belt and simple crystal earrings. Although I did not get any male feedback that evening, my supportive friend (who wholeheartedly joined me in getting SH*Tfaced that night) said I looked great……
I’ve put up a picture of jeans tucked into fringe boots, which was originally a suggestion for the evening but was quickly discarded as a first date option. Apparently, though, this look would be perfect for a daytime date, such as coffee or brunch.

I was 26 years old when I broke up with a boyfriend that I had been seeing for 7 years. My mother was devastated. I clearly remember her sage advice at the time: “You know, Carrie Blogshaw, that it gets harder to meet people as you get older”. She was right.
My mother, June Cleaver Blogshaw, is very concerned regarding the state of my love life at this time. Many of her friends children (who I used to babysit, I’d like to add) have gotten married and are now HAVING children. I, the eldest, remain single… This causes her (as well as myself!) great concern. In a passive aggressive attempt to remind me that I should get married, she used to leave the thank you cards from the weddings she attended at my place at the table. Sometimes I didn’t recognize or had not even met the people in the pictures staring back at me. I moved out.
Two years ago, she attempted to set me up with one of her friends sons. I had some questions:
“Is he cute?”
“No”
“Is he tall?”
“No, he’s short”
“Does he have dark hair?”
“He’s bald”
We later found out that he has a terrible drinking problem and gets so drunk that he sometimes can’t make it to the washroom and ends up urinating in house plants in the living room. I was shocked. My mom didn’t seem so shocked and was quick to remind me that it wouldn’t be much of a problem, as I have laminate floors……

Yes, I’ve spent some time in that role. I love it. I love my gay friends and cherish my relationship with one person in particular, who acted as my “gay boyfriend” for two years while I lived abroad. However, when I got back I met the man of my dreams. If I could have drawn the perfect man, it would have looked just like him. He was gorgeous, tall, smart, funny, successful, worldly and the most masculine man I’d ever met. I’d seen a psychic years before who had predicted that I would meet someone with a particular background, and this guy had that background. It was bizarre but so exciting. We met a few times but nothing ever happened and then he moved away for work. Still, a common friend continued to try to set us up, as we’d seemed like such a good match. This never worked out. I have been crushing on this man on and off for 3 years, hoping that one day he would move back to the country and we could begin our romance (which had been building up in my head for too long). I got a call from our mutual friend this week to let me know why it was always so hard to set the two of us up…. The guy is gay. I’ve been crushing on a gay guy for 3 years. On a positive note, although it’s a cruel loss for women (myself in particular), it’s one hell of a gain for the dudes!

Before anyone recommends that I seek help after reading these posts, I would like to let you know that I am very familiar with the Self Help sections at most book stores and I have become a fan of life coach Louise Hay.

This was the most hilarious yet inappropriate proposal I have ever received from someone that I have dated. This happened in the summer of ‘08. I had just been passively broken up with (meaning: he had apparently decided that he didn’t have enough time to devote to the relationship, but he had forgotten to tell me and decided that by stopping to communicate entirely, I might get the drift…..).

After 5 weeks of no communication (this was with Mr. Hello, Wall), I got an email from him. He told me he was not able to give 100% to the relationship at the time, but was wondering if I was interested in a friends with benefits situation. He felt that would be a way for us to both enjoy the summer without too many demands. Thanks for the suggestion!

I was unsure how to handle that one. At first, I thought it might be liberating for me to find my inner Samantha Jones and go ahead with the arrangement. That was, until, after searching for Samantha for a few days, all I was able to come up with was Charlotte. Also, I remembered that the sex hadn’t been good for me, therefore this was no longer an option. In an effort to play the game and keep it friendly (we have friends in common), I jokingly replied to inquire about the benefits scheme he was offering. What sort of benefits were on offer? Was it competitive in the market place? I guess after faking orgasms for many, many years, I’d become good enough at it that he didn’t even realize that I’d been unimpressed with his benefits for months!

I got dumped by email.
After 3 months.
Not sure if a Post-It would have been more personal…………..

Before my misadventures in online dating began, I did have the pleasure of meeting men in real time. My last dating experience involved a man who seemed decent when he would talk, but unfortunately for me, he spent most of his time not speaking. The second-last time that we went out (I felt I needed to see him one more tooth-pulling time before I would know FOR SURE that this was a waste of the pretty), I felt I needed to address the fact that he had propositioned a sex-only relationship and I did not agree. I feel, at this point in my life, that I am looking for more. In university, this might have been acceptable. In thirty-something land, this sh*t doesn’t fly. Compounding the non-speaking issue was the fact that, as hard as it was for him to talk, he was completely unable to discuss relationships of any kind (the one that we were in, the one he’d been in before, the ones I’d been in before…). I tried to explain to him (kindly) that I didn’t feel comfortable with a “friends with benefits” relationship. He sat there and stared blankly at me while I struggled to shoot down the proposal. It was painful. It was like trying to talk to a wall. In hindsight, it was hilarious. At the time, it was “Hello, Wall”.

This is my first post and the subject of this post is what inspired this blog. I’ve been experiencing a less-than-successful dating life for the past few years and some of my recent experiences have pushed me into territory that I never thought I would use to hopefully meet someone decent….. Yes, I went outside my comfort zone and into the world of ONLINE DATING.

I took some time to create a somewhat thoughtful profile (complete with photo carefully chosen so as to look pretty but not overly made up, friendly but not friendly in a guy’s opinion, which would just be slutty, fun-loving but not drunk - it was hard to find a photo!) and let the magical world of digital dating take its course.

Four weeks, 76 viewings, 37 smiles received and 5 smiles sent later, I met someone decent online! He seemed decent, I should say. We had lots in common and had funny conversations over the highly impersonal instant messaging service. We made plans to meet well in advance, as I was busy travelling. After 2 weeks of waiting, we made a date, time and area to meet, but he wanted to choose the exact location. Fine with me! He took my number and said he would call me the next day to set it up but I never received the call. He never called me the day of the date or the evening of the date! I ended up at the pub that night with a friend, commiserating over several drinks. My friend told me that it could take 100 dates to fnd 1 decent man. I understand the logic, but how will I ever go on 100 dates when I can’t get someone to show up for ONE???!!! I’m unbelievably frustrated.